Reading Body Language, Part 2: A Magnified View of How It Works
The best way to learn to read body language is to practice reading body language! In real environments, with real women!
This is why I constantly tell guys that online dating should not be your only avenue you use to meet women. Pay attention the next time you pass by a woman in public. Look at her as she approaches you. If she looks at you, continue to look at her. LET HER BE THE FIRST TO LOOK AWAY!
One of three things will happen:
She will look away: This is a “Red Light” all day long. Don’t even bother.
She will look away, look back at you, then look away again (shows “curiosity” which can be good): I call this “Yellow Light Territory” in that you should proceed with caution for two reasons:
She may just as well looked back at you for a second time because she may have thought you were someone she knew (or that you somehow knew her).
She may have looked back at you only because you were looking at her (a*k*a “I only looked at you because you were looking at me,” or picture her telling you in a thick New Yorker accent: “Take a picture. It’ll last longer!”).
BUT, this could also be interpreted as her trying to find out if you were in fact checking her out, saying to herself: “Was he really looking at me? Maybe he thinks I’m cute…”
She will continue to look at you for as long as you are looking at her (possibly even smiling): If this EVER happens as you are passing by a woman, you’d better turn around to see if she turns around to look back at you.
AND EVEN IF SHE DOESN’T, I would still say that you now have the “Green Light” to approach her.
The next few reading body language tips deal with a few slightly different scenarios.
You are in a book store and a woman browsing through a magazine at the magazine rack catches you attention. Since she has her back to you, you cannot rely on reading body language or eye contact, so you go over to speak to her.There is simply no other way to gauge whether or not a woman is interested in you other than standing face-to-face, toe-to-toe with her.
This is the most important of all when it comes to reading body language. It essentially gives you the “red light” or “green light” to approach a woman.
You walk over next to her, take a magazine off of the rack (to pretend you are browsing through it), and then say something to her as simple as “how are you doing?” Or better yet: “What magazine is that you’re reading?”
After looking up to acknowledge your presence, how does she respond to you?
- Short sentences? “I’m fine.” “Vogue Magazine.” Returns to looking back in her magazine.
- Long sentences? “I’m doing good. How about yourself?” Continues to look at you as she waits for your response.
Or, it could go something like this?
You: “What magazine is that?”
Her: “Vogue Magazine. I’m just trying to figure out if I want this one, or the new issue of ‘Elle Magazine.’ I’ll probably just end up buying them both. What’s that one you’ve got?”
Doesn’t the second response seem better than the first? One of the greatest signs she may be interested is if she answers your question(s), and then asks you a question back.
This kind of back-and-forth response is good conversation, or what I like to call “verbal tennis.”
Another good sign is if she completely turns towards you while talking, and even closes her magazine to give you her full attention.
GREEN LIGHT! GREEN LIGHT!!
You’re in a nightclub and you notice a female leaning with her back against the bar, slightly grooving to the music. You approach her and introduce yourself. Let’s pretend that she already saw you walking over to her.
You introduce yourself and ask her for her name. Now begin reading body language.
Since she already noticed you as you were approaching her:
- She tells you her name without even looking at you, or even in your direction. She just sort of leans over and tells you it while still focusing on the direction she is already looking in. Also, she begins to start grooving to the music again.
Not interested. Even if she asks you your name in return, it’s no point in continuing to chat with her. It’s best to just come up with an exit strategy.
You could even say that you mistook her for someone you knew, apologize, tell her to enjoy herself (which she seems to be doing in the first place), and walk away.
- She turns to you smiling (even if slightly…remember, she saw you coming) and tells you her name.
Very good possibility she is interested! For one, if she’s smiling (even slightly), then she’s happy you had the courage to come over to speak with her, since she saw you walking over to her in the first place.
Secondly, she turned to you to tell you her name when you asked her for it. She may not even ask for yours in return, but all you should be concerned with is the fact that she turned to you and answered.
EVEN BETTER if she has stopped dancing. This signals to you that you have her undivided attention.
(Note: In reading body language, do not expect every woman to make eye-to-eye contact with you. Some women are shy, and may look down at the floor.
AS LONG AS SHE IS LOOKING DOWN AT THE FLOOR IN YOUR DIRECTION, THEN YOU ARE GOOD TO GO. If she is looking off in the opposite direction (as if she is looking/waiting for someone else) then move on…)
ATTRACTION IS ATTRACTION IS ATTRACTION!
It is human nature to stand directly in front of or turn towards something we desire. Take the scent from food for instance. If you are hungry, happen to walk by a pizza stand and love the smell coming from it, you probably will turn towards the aroma and walk over to buy a slice.
If it were a smell of something disgusting to you, such as fried squash or zucchini, you’d turn away from it.
Get out there and practice reading body language with women. Pay attention to the eye contact and body position of the women you speak with.
Ninja Skillz Practice: If you don’t believe in the whole “reading body language” theory, then try this:
Purposely seek out conversation with (who you feel) is an unattractive woman, and with whom you strongly feel is/would be attracted to you (maybe a chick from back-in-the-day who was desperately trying to get with you), and begin reading body language.
Take notice how she looks directly at you while talking, laughs at your stupid jokes, and possibly even touches you every now and then while trying to make a point or laughing at something you said.
TRUST THE SYSTEM!
Meet women at Yahoo! Personals
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