Nightclub Rules: The Do’s and Don’ts
Note: Nightclub rules is an ever-growing list of do’s and don’ts, so pleas check back here often for updates (read “Wisdom”)…
Be sure to also check out how the nightclub scene works, and the vast opportunities for meeting women while there!
NIGHTCLUB RULES #1: (IF THE OPTION IS AVAILABLE) DO NOT ORDER FOOD AT A NIGHTCLUB!
Why didn’t you eat before coming to the club? What happens if you spill something on your clothes?
Even if you happen to have an extra nicely pressed shirt hanging in the back of your car, most nightclubs don’t allow re-entry once you leave (for safety reasons…how do they know you aren’t going to your car to grab a gun or knife because someone said something to you that you didn’t like while inside?).
NIGHTCLUB RULES #2: DO NOT BUY DRINKS FOR WOMEN!
Most won’t even accept them from you for fear of being slipped a “mickey,” or because they don’t want to feel “obligated” to you for the rest of the night because you bought her one. Besides, you don’t even know this chick! Let her buy her own booze!
Use this dating strategy: If she wants to drink with you, then get her phone number and the two of you can arrange to meet for “drinks” at another time and place.
Her response will tell whether or not she is actually interested in going on a date with you or not. BE ESPECIALLY SUSPICIOUS IF OF THOSE WHO JUST OUTRIGHT ASK YOU TO BUY THEM A DRINK!
A friend of mine would always tell me about these “smokin hot” GDFF’s he would see in a particular nightclub who had their own little scheme going. They would always somehow manage to get “tipsy” without ever buying a drink.
How it worked: As one female worked on a unsuspecting Schmuck (pretending to be interested in him), her girlfriends would hang out on the dance floor dancing (in their own little group or with each other, such as GDFF’s do…) to the music.
Eventually Joe Schmuck would buy the woman a drink (or two). After said woman is done with Sir Schmuck, she would give a subtle signal to her “homies,” who are observing all of this from the dance floor.
Here’s the trick: The very next song that comes on will just “happen” to be her and her friends favorite song. Her group of girlfriends would all come (rushing in to save her) and begin to grab her, telling her that she just “has” to dance with them; “It’s our favorite song!”
As she is dragged away by her partners-in-crime to the dance floor, she turns to him and shrugs her shoulders while uttering “sorry..” (which seems to be a whisper from such a far distance between the two). And there stands an embarrassed and piss-the-f**k off Schmuck; drink in one hand, di*k in the other. DON’T BECOME A STATISTIC!!
NIGHTCLUB RULES #3: DO NOT ENGAGE THE “GROUP TROOP DANCE FLOOR FLIRTS (GDFF’S)”
ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL THE NIGHTCLUB RULES! These are exactly what they sound like: The group of girls you see all huddled into one small group on the dance floor, either dancing to themselves or with/on one of the other girls in the group.
These women are usually married or currently involved in a relationship, and mostly go to nightclubs to see if they’ve still “got it” (meaning, after being in such long-term relationships, they just want to know if guys still find them attractive).
If you just watch and observe, you will see a countless number of guys approach them (complimenting the females on how “hot” they are, trying to dance with them) and get nowhere very fast.
GTDFF’s love it when guys offer to buy them drinks (since their “Old Man” probably isn’t funding their little excursion to the nightclub), but for the guys who think that she maybe will get drunk enough to want to go home with you, the other women in the group will simply have none of this.
You will just be “cock-blocked” with each and every effort and advance, so it’s best to just leave them be…THEY COME FOR THE ATTENTION, AND NOTHING MORE!
Ignore this nightclub rule at your peril…
NIGHTCLUB RULES #4: DO STICK WITH A “KEEPER” IF YOU HAPPEN TO FIND ONE THAT NIGHT!
While making your rounds in the nightclub speaking to different females (and trying to get their phone number), if you happen to run into a “Keeper,” KEEP-HER, get it?
This is a female that is pretty much as attracted to you (if not more) as you are to her. You will be able to tell if there is an instant “connection.” She will smile a lot at you, look directly in your eyes while talking to you, and will even try to get you to talk with her even more.
Take this as a hint that she is interested in hanging with you for the rest of the time the two of you are at the club. If the two of you are in a crowded area of the club, try to find a less crowded area, or even a place where the two of you can sit and talk.
Forget about trying to talk to more females and get phone numbers because at this point you have literally struck gold with an instant and mutual attraction. Don’t be surprised if the two of you are tongue-kissing and hugged-up together before the night is out.
LISTEN: I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve f*cked this up by trying to be too greedy. If you find a female who has everything you are looking for, and she is also showing signs of being mutually attracted, THEN KEEP’ER! This is another one of the nightclub rules you DO NOT want to ignore.
There’s no point in trying to still exchange phone numbers with other females who may or may not call, answer your phone calls, or even be serious about wanting to hook-up…
NIGHTCLUB RULES #5: IF YOU CAN’T DANCE, THEN DON’T
To tell you the truth, I don’t even dance with chicks anymore when I go to nightclubs. I used to all the time when I was younger, but back then I didn’t realize that the “dancing” part was optional.
Now when I go, I just look for the females standing off to the side watching everyone else dance. These are the females you should be looking for! This usually means that she is hoping someone will approach her for conversation (one of the reasons she came in the first place).
If a female DOES asks you to dance with her, then be upfront with her if you can’t dance. Even better, ask her to “teach you.”
You may not even care about learning, but at least the two of you are interacting with one another. Plus: if she’s teaching you, she won’t feel so awkward around you as you try to “get in step.”
NIGHTCLUB RULES NOTE: Do not think you’re being “cool” by trying to dance when you can’t. That may have worked in high school (you know, the scenario where the “nerdy guy” starts to dance, and all of the “popular kid” are cheering him on even though he is making a complete a$$ of himself), but don’t do it here!
The female you are dancing with will either think it’s really “cute” or really “embarrassing,” and may walk away if she begins to feel embarrassed herself (since other people may be watching this “spectacle.” Why would she want to be seen with an “ass?”).
NIGHTCLUB RULES #6: The Numbers Game, a*k*a “Stick-and-Move”
Stick and Move is a boxing term in where the boxer hits an opponent with a “jab” (stick), and moves to avoid any punch(es) that may be returned to him (move).
This nightclub rules technique (without any real punches, or course) is to be used anytime you visit nightclubs looking for women. If you meet a woman and she gives you her phone number, then get the phone number and “move around.”
This literally means that once you’ve accomplished the goal you set out for in the first place (getting her phone number), then let her know that you plan to call her “soon” (which you will), tell her “goodbye,” move to another party of the room, AND CONTINUE HUNTING!!
Think of a nightclub as a business seminar that you’ve paid you’re cover charge (fee to enter the club) to gain access to. Once inside this “seminar,” you begin to “network,” trying to make as many contacts as possible.
Because some of those “contacts” may either be “bull sh*t” or “not as serious” about doing business in the first place. But if you’ve were able to get more than a few contacts, then there a very good possibility that a couple of them will work out!
This is the same philosophy used in the nightclub rules “Numbers Game.”
Some of the females you get phone numbers from may either be “bull sh*t” or “not as serious” about hooking up in the first place (I’ve even had one chick give me her phone number just so she could have someone to talk with and complain to about her current boyfriend. Of course she had no intentions of breaking up with him…).
But if you were able to get more than a few phone numbers, then there is a very good possibility that a couple of them will work out…
THE EXCEPTION TO THIS NIGHTCLUB RULE
If she is a keeper, DO NOT stick-and-move, stick-with-her!! See “Rule #4” above for “keepers.”
NIGHTCLUB RULES #7: DO NOT GO FOR THE “BIGGEST FISH” IN THE ROOM
I am not referring to large or “fat chicks” here. Rather, the “Big Fish” is the woman (or women) who come to the club dressed very sexy and provocative (to show off her “banging” body), knows that she looks “damn fine,” knows that all the guys in the club know that she IS “damn fine,” and knows that ALL THE WOMEN in the club knows that she is “damn fine.”
If there is more than one of these females, they will usually be in a small pack (they are most often GTDFF’s, see rule # 3), AND if there is more than one “Big Fish” or “small pack” of them in the same room, they will usually be at opposite ends of the club (competition, jealously).
Since “Big Fish” know that they can have literally any man they want, the company of these women are ALWAYS the “Ballers (yup, I’m talking about the “Pro-Athlete” types), “Big Spenders (wealthy, older gents who like to spend to spoil younger women),” and the “Play Boi” types (rich, young guy, immaculately dressed and manicured, owns a private yacht docked in St. Tropez, penthouse suite on Park Avenue).
Most of these women are (or wannabe) models, actresses, singers, or usually a combination of the three (whether successful or not in any of these sectors).
The types of men mentioned above help to pay for model training school, portfolios, acting lessons, singing lessons, and music demos (yeah, the one that she is going to take to a major record label to get that “BIG record deal”! Lol…).
With these women comes some of the biggest egos and attitudes that you would’ve never known existed! And most of them have no problem asking “why are you talking to me?” if you approach them and aren’t up to their standards.
AND DON’T TRY TO FAKE IT!
Even if approach her dressed like a million bucks, if she’s never heard of you, or doesn’t explicitly know that you’ve got “lots of doe,” you will have to prove it by buying her (and quite possibly her girlfriends) the most expensive wine or champagne in the house (and lots of it, she expects you to be generous with your money since you’ve got lots of it, right?).
If you get her number, be prepared to have your “ride” inspected by her (to make sure it’s not anything less than a luxury sedan or a “rental”), expensive dining, gifts, etc.
Save yourself the headache man…
NIGHTCLUB RULES #8: DO NOT CHASE
If you approach a woman and begin to talk with her (you more than her) and if she tells you “excuse me” and heads out to the dance floor or somewhere else in the room (to talk to her friends, bathroom, etc.) SHE WILL NOT BE BACK!
She just isn’t interested. Don’t sit (or stand) there like a putz waiting for her to return. If she was coming back, she would’ve said so. AND EVEN THEN she still may not come back. Who gets up in the middle of a conversation, saying nothing more than “excuse me” or I’ll be back” without giving reason?
It’s rude for one, and disrespectful. If a woman every “disrespects” you like this, then don’t even bother with the broad any further. If you happen to walk pass her later on that night, just smile politely, or better yet,ignore her and pretend you don’t even see her.
If she was in fact interested, she will either make her way over to you and ask “where did you go?” or apologize for leaving and give the reason she had to (maybe she had to take a dump?).
BUT DO NOT TRY TO FIND HER TO ASK HER WHY SHE LEFT.
DO NOT CHASE!
NIGHTCLUB RULES #9: DO NOT SHOW UP WITH THE OBJECTIVE OF “TRYING TO GET LAID!”
YOU ARE NOT a Rapper, Rock Star, or Pro Athlete; nor do you live the life of a Rapper, Rock Star, or Pro Athlete!
THEY show up with “no chick,” and leave with “a chick” or “chicks.”
YOU show up with “no chick,” and will very likely leave with “no chick” or “chicks.”
Just focus on getting phone numbers. Establish yourself with her, and work something out later.
NIGHTCLUB RULES #10: DRESS TO IMPRESS
This just goes without saying. Why wouldn’t you want to be the magnet of attention, and stand out from all the other guys in the room?
The more attention you can grab from the women in the club, the less you have to compete with other guys for it. Making YOUR job much more easier…
Looking for mens fashion tips? Then click here to be taken to TDSM’s “Mens Fashion Tips” section.
That’s all of the nightclub rules for now. More will be added as needed.
TRUST THE SYSTEM!
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