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Dating Rules for First Dates: The Do’s and Don’ts

Now, let’s not get too paranoid or cynical here! “Dating Rules” is only designed to keep you “sharp” so that you won’t unsuspectingly be taken advantage of. Since it is recommended that YOU should pay for dinner and such on the first date, it is easy for a woman to try and test you, just to see how far you are willing to make your dollars go.

She may “bat her eyes” a little bit harder, put a little more “twist” into that walk, talk about her favorite sexual positions; and before you know it, you’re standing in front of the checkout counter at “Saks Fifth Avenue” with your charge card out, and the words “Chump” written across your forehead because she’s talked you into buying her a new handbag.

That’s what rap artist Jay Z calls: “The Power of the P-U-$-$-Y!”

No matter how that short the skirt is, KEEP YOUR WITS ABOUT YOU, MAN!

At the same time with following these dating rules, it is also important for you to be a “Gentleman”. Do things for her (such as opening the door for her, buying dinner, movie ticket, etc.) without expecting to get anything in return (sex).

This is the art of “Giving before you take,” and if everything works out in the long run you WILL be rewarded by her AND THEN SOME.

Just keep in mind that the synonym for “Gentleman” is not “Sucker.”

Dating Rule #1: If you are talking to a woman over the phone and she has to put you on hold, after 1-2 minutes HANG UP AND DO NOT CALL BACK. Let her call YOU back and explain why she had you on hold for so long!

This is just disrespectful. If the call is important, then she should tell you she’ll have to call you back instead of having you hold forever. Common excuses include “it was my mother or “it was my job”.

BUT WHAT I HAVE FOUND it to be almost 95% of the time is another guy she is currently seeing, and doesn’t want to tip him off that she’s talking to someone else on the other line.

If she asks you why you hung up, tell her you ALSO got another call or (for cell phones) “the signal dropped.” You don’t have to explain yourself…SHE DOES!

Dating Rule #2: NO SURPRISES (e.g. flowers, gifts, etc.)!

A gift is something you give to show your “appreciation” for someone. This is your first date; you haven’t even had the chance to appreciate anything from her yet!

Save this for “Level 2” dating when you are more comfortable with each other. A first date can just as well turn out to be a “last date.”

Save your money Romeo…


Save the hugs for another date, and only if it’s mutual. If you feel there is no “spark” between the two of you (yet), then don’t rush anything.

She will only look at you like “what the hell are you doing?” when trying to go for a hug that she isn’t ready for, and expect to get SLAPPED if you are trying to go for a kiss.

Dating Rule #4: STICK TO THE SCRIPT (and your budget)!

Let’s say you are somewhere like “Dave & Buster’s.” If you only agreed (budgeted) to pay for the meal and a few drinks, and she decides she wants to play a few games to win some prizes, then SHE needs to pay for anything “extra” that you didn’t plan to pay for!

This is where guys can lose their shirt (outside of the bedroom). You are not her “Sugar Daddy” (and even if you are trying to be, she needs to be letting you “hit that” before you start spending all your money in the first place…) and you shouldn’t be buying her anything outside of what you planned to do already, such as dinner and a movie ticket.

If she tries to get “cute” with you, then play stupid:

Her: “So what, you don’t have any more money?”

You: “Yeah…”

Her: “Then what’s buying one little game going to hurt?”

You: “YOU don’t have any money?”

AND WITH THAT SAID, THE WORST PLACE YOU COULD MEET FOR A DATE IS AT A MALL OR SHOPPING CENTER! I can’t count the number of time women have “tried me,” wanting to see if I’ll crack open the wallet for her little “nick knacks.”

It’s almost comical. She’ll usher me to the store, exclaim how much she loves those pair of shoes, turn to me and ask “don’t you think they’d look good on me?”

I just smile real nicely and say: “Yeah, you should buy them…”


Dating Rule #5: If a female EVER tries to embarrass or “clown you” in front of a bunch of people (because you wouldn’t “break the bank” for her), then leave. If YOU were the one who picked her up, toss her a $20, tell her to “call a cab,” and to “have a nice night.”

Twenty bucks is nothing compared to the headache that is to ensue with dealing with this chick for the rest of the night or the ride home.


In the words of rap artist MJG in the song “Space-Age Pimpin”:

Woman: “Would you steal for me?”

MJG: “Yeah if sh*t belongs to you”

Woman: “Would you KILL for me?”

MJG: “Yeah if my life’s in danger too…”

I don’t know about stealing for a chick, but you shouldn’t be doing anything that would get you locked-up (or killed) from fooling with a woman. No going with her to slice up her ex-boyfriend’s tires, or going to throw eggs at his NEW girlfriends home.

Trust me when I tell you to leave this “basket case” alone. Let her find another putz to do her dirty work.


This happened to a good friend of mine. He went to go meet a girl for dinner, but was surprised to find that she had also brought along one of her girlfriends (this ALSO happened to a blind date, which I strongly caution against in the first place).

Needless to say that when it came time to pay, her “friend” assumed that her meal was being paid for by my friend as well, until he politely reminded her that there isn’t a sign parked on his forehead that reads “free meals here…”

AND if she’s talking about bringing a guy friend along, forget about it…


This doesn’t apply to all women (especially the ones who discipline their kids), but I DO know of women who promise their kids ahead of time that “Mr. “—-” is going to treat us to a GOOD TIME.”

And those little snotty-nosed bastards are smart!

Kid(s): (as IT bounces around in the back seat of the car) “…ooh ooh Mister, can we get some ice cream? Ooh ooh, can we go skating? Ooh, ooh, can we go ride go-carts?”

Her: (putting her hand on your inner thigh) “Hey, that sounds like fun…what do you think?”

You: (smiling politely) (in your head) “You little motherf**ker you…

***THAT’S ALL “DATING RULES” FOR NOW. This should be enough to keep you out of trouble. I’ll add more if I think of other things you should be on the look out for.

Remember to “Think with your head, and not with your (other) head!

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